Not Enough

So those days. The days when you fail. The no matter how hard you try days, you fall short days. Yeah. See I have this failing. One of many. Ever have a trait that looks like an excuse, but it's real? You worry over it. Steer clear of things that will cause it to flair up. But there's this. God. He likes to use weak spots. Mine that burdens is this. I forget things. I am a moment thriver. A spontaneous soul.  A choose people before task woman. Sometimes to a fault. See there are tasks that need to be done. Planning does bless. Schedules can help make smiles. Because God is the most beautiful Planner. He designs exquisite (psalm 104)! But He also made me. Like this.

Me loving to show up a surprise, offering something to cause a smile. To help someone know...They. Are. Loved.  Me the hostess...working to always exude His welcome. No matter the hour. This is a design, godly I believe. He chose it. But the flip side is I am forgetful in future plans. Even when it's written down I can not show up. Even with note on dash, I can forget the checks to deposit. I can re-tell a conversation, all smiles, forgetting you were there. How do you share a weakness without sounding all excuse? Baffled if I know. 

Tears today. Weaknesses do that. I forgot. Again.  And i tried to make sure i didn't. I slammed into the jolt of "i cant" . Again. Maybe that's it! Maybe settling into the "just can't" opens a door. To Him. To His ability. I had a dear friend tell me today that Grace accomplishes what we can not. Can God's grace make a way for spontaneous me in a scheduled world? Can it allow me to love wildly and still be organized enough to bless my household? Can it see me fail and help me to smile with upturned face? It can. 

God is grace. God made me dust beautiful. God nurtures our nothings until it flowers into so many somethings. So maybe weaknesses then, are just seeds in the hand of a loving God. A miraculous God. What doesn't make sense to me, He can make beautiful... by design! The me that's like this. The me that needs to know my design is not a mistake. 

What are your spots? The ones you hope no one will see? The ones that keep you stuck, aching heart heavy in shortcomings. We need to hear it today. This. God has no design glitches.  The enemy wants us to think so. Both to get us to question God, and to get us to deny that His love could cover all of this.  The ugly places. The I can't places. 

But He can. He does. He can use even those. Because love never fails. And friend, He is love. He is grace. And He promises to finish what He starts. He is 1 Corinthians 13. He is all that for us. For you!

There is this story I read my kids. About a forgetful bunny. Her friends had to leave her a treasure hunt check list to follow, just to lead her to her own birthday party. That's me. I struggle being a forgetful bunny in a high expectation world. But I have a home in an all powerful God. One who "gets me", because He formed me. (Psalm 139). And that love? Yeah. It's gonna do something with my weaknesses. It's just His way. 

Wanna believe with me? Because there's one thing I have come to know. His love never fails. Even when I do.