It Has to Be Him.

She didn't know the way thru. He was so tired but had to keep going. The load he carried was so heavy. Too heavy by on lookers standards. 75 hours a week. This limbo that God seemed to allow with purpose. The job he hoped to leave...that stress. That belittling boss. That distance too far to travel each day. Then the other business. This one he started that God has begun to richly bless. When should he make the jump to just ... The waiting. So he trodges on. Little sleep and enduring energy only Jesus can conjure up in him. On lookers say he is crazy. I say he is hero. God says " in My time". 

Don't judge. You don't know the load God is asking people to carry. We usually aren't permitted to know the why. 

Then him. Yes. He had made a mistake. Then her...trying to make what really was, more ugly. She spreads lies, with help. And him? He feels fickle people's abandon. Those moments when you realize your friends aren't.  But Jesus walks close when backs turn. When others walk away and try and make us feel the space...He steps in nearest. 

So in the open raw, he grows. He sees Jesus friend in a way he never has. The hurt turns him to his Savior. Not from hell alone anymore, but from all this life. This hard grind. So the man braves the ugly rhythm. Because he wants to know the secrets of Jesus hidden places....and he fills. 

Don't judge. You don't know the beautiful God is weaving. Tapestries take time.

What about her whose faith is strong but body is weak? The illnesses keep coming. Her husband's heart hurts. He can't care for her adequately alone anymore. So they have to leave. Everything their sweet babies have known. This house that has been home. Like Abraham they have to go. Trusting God with the how of the unknown. New state, new house, new doctors, and New Life. 

Change. Don't assume. We all have branches He prunes because of love. The way thru can be fog to the hurting. Keep going. The Son will come out.

All of them. And more... 

Moves away from family. Marriages that hurt. Friends that abandon. Sickness that robs. Relationships that rip. Houses that are torn down. Jobs that take. Trials that nag. Hope that fades.

It's everywhere.

So I have been watching. Listening. And surviving some hard myself. Why? Sometimes that haunts. We get scared that this is all life is. 

So a thought keeps mulling. When it's like this...thick and losing... Maybe it's mountain. Just maybe it has to be too big. Big enough to put low a man's lofty thoughts on his own strength. That moment when we say, " I can't." Light starts to come. Foreboding mountains, thick air, raw hearts, and blind eyes... Beauty. 

Because Jesus Christ can. Because Jesus loves us enough to let us see we are not enough. That He still saves. That sometimes when the ugly comes too close, we have to receive it. As manna. Bread falling hard from heaven that will provide for us somehow. 

It's not about learning to love what hurts. Or adapt to what we can't change. It's about looking in and seeing Jesus was here all along. That this circumstance is perfect to tell a love story. About Him, and you. 

The light is brightest in life's pitch places.

I won't lie. I am tired. Of my own hard. Of my beloved husbands load he has to carry. Of seeing people dear to me be attacked, hurt, or rejected. Of friends who are sick endlessly, and hope that wanes on those dark days. But I believe Jesus more. I believe there is provision in what is just too bad to comprehend. Because it has to be Him. When it's all so unexplainable... Beauty is coming.

Because pitch black ends. And when it does there is a story we can tell.

Jesus.

Jesus never leaving us alone. Jesus giving us wisdom thru. Jesus moving mountains and opening locked doors. Jesus being strong when we can't breathe. Jesus picking us up...because we just can't.

So don't. Stop trying to push your story. Open your hands to what He is allowing... There is sustenance here. Feed on Him in your now. 

Pitch black ends.

Smile because you know Who is the outcome. Jesus. And He will not leave you...nor turn His back away. 

Smile because... You. Are. Held.

*Isaiah 45:3*