I found this post I wrote awhile ago. I never published it. In a reread, it is birth pains. To my last post... The push before I chose to come into the light. So...Take encouragement if you are climbing mountains away from sidewalks. It will be ok:
Like a Whippoorwill calling out in the darkness. A bird song on the backside of day... We push in to know, that our make isn't a mistake. That all this different in our feathers, and in our need to sing at all the wrong times, is on purpose. Apart of a design.
In key. Even beautiful.
That all this not fitting in, may be apart of a story. Not one of rejection and morphed attempts to change our soul shape. But a flagship pushing us toward using our song to tell a different part of His holy story. Perhaps some of us are a bird in the night. Just maybe the Wild of God, and the love of God, have to awaken the sleeping. And just maybe He made the odd birds, the qwerky, the unfit, the loud, the colorful...on purpose.
I am learning that most people are afraid of an artist soul. A soul that bucks the rigid rule, the one who hears a call outside the lines, and isn't afraid to go off path. It isn't that we serve two different Gods, though that's what many worry about. I think instead, it's that some of us aren't afraid to see the wild happy in faith.
In my years, I have learned the church way well. I know what is expected. I am familiar with the favored verses and songs. I know what is supposed to be, and what certainly should not be. Problem is, even in the midst of all the wonderful things I learned about Jesus... He never seemed complete.
I think most are afraid to say Jesus felt happiness. That Jesus laughed, and played around with those dear to Him. That it's more than likely He was a stinker to make His mama laugh in the kitchen. We think that to give Jesus emotions is to strip Him of divinity. And I believe that coudnt be farther from the truth. We need to remember He was a man too... For a reason. Yes, all of the ones we are taught still stand... We needed to be saved. We needed a sacrifice big enough. We needed someone who understands how hard our world is. But we also needed to know He was someone we could know. Like as a real, down to earth, full of emotion, person. People don't have tea with a ticket book. They don't pour their soul out to a Harvard Law. And yet, the church today makes Him that. A Definer of lines. The walls to a box not all are allowed in. A club. We forget He felt things. And that this was a huge connecting piece. The piece that reached out to the "cast offs". The ones the church shut out, the ones said to be law breakers. The Leper, the Adulterer, the Beggars, the Lesser, the Hated, and those "not enough". He was person to them. Gentle feeling eyes, and kind invitations. He was the " I am not afraid to be seen, with you." Person. I believe it was these people that heard Him laugh. The Johns laying on His chest... The ones who defied the "you can't do that!"
But when they did... When they took the risk, to come out into the light of His welcome, they were changed. Kindness does that. This Love eradicating black holes and leaving pure voices. Voices who know what it is to have Love Himself be the Redeemer of all their dark places.
So today if your on a dirt trail, and the hard sidewalk mocks you, just breathe. Their is purpose in going off road. Jesus is personal. He is emotional, making Him incredibly relational. So don't be afraid. Go for a walk, with a heart full of Whippoorwill song. He will tell you that it's true...Your design isn't a mistake.
You're loved, needed, and wanted.
I promise.
