Maybe. A Song.

Maybe. When we dance with what God gives us... Our song is heard.

The Lord is my strength and my song. And He has become my salvation. ~ Psalm 118:14

 

The Lord is God, and He has given us light.... ~ Psalm 118:27

What is your sound?

Become me Lord, that my song, may be Thee.

How hope and endurance sound to me today: 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VcnzqKpFZ0I

Idiosyncrasy Love

So I've been thinking. About marriage. And anyone who knows me, even a little, knows that this pulses my heart. Dearly. I love being married. And even more, this incredibly kind man, I am humbled to call my own. And some may even say my often mention of love, and this most significant friendship, is beating a dead horse... But it matters. Especially today. When marriage bears the bad rap. The passionless, bored rap. 

And. Well. That's a lie.

Marriage is this secret joy behind the most beautiful veil. 

What has me pondering the last few days is the habits. The things, after years of together, that we slide over to the annoying list. The idiosyncrasies of the ordinary. After several years together we go from gracious to scoffing. And a scoff is a wedge.

And it only takes a thin wedge to make a crack.

I was with this couple once. She. This vibrant woman who would burst into joy over small pleasures. No matter how silly they struck her. It was endearing. But I noticed one day, that her husband almost mocked her happy moment with a scoff attempting to tone her down. Almost as if this part of her...her silly happy, embarrassed  him.  It made my heart hurt. He was missing this beautiful stroke of her. Put there by Sovereign Himself. This gift of her noticing life's texture. 

But we all do this. Us married years. We scoff that they enjoy reading the news when we clearly want to cuddle. We annoy that they find a weird joy in 80's music. And why do they not like to play cards?  And that road they always take home...it's obviously longer! 

These seemingly stupid little things that turned scoff, can mangle.

I LOVE coffee. Like a lot. I hang notes, that have been written me, IN the coffee cup cupboard. Because after all, it's a happy place. I have to stare at my coffee cups each morning to decide what cup FEELS right that particular day. Yeah. So not joking. My man, doesn't get this blip of me.

 

I clap at sunsets, with a "way to go Jesus! Good one!"

I change clothes five times before I truly "start to get ready".

I can't eat leftovers after 24 hours. And I won't use a condiment or juice bottle if I can't find who broke the seal since I bought it.  Again. So not joking. 

I am the harshest belittler of my own soul. Much to my hubby's dismay.

I gag at earwax.

And I have been known to stop when late for church, to pet the softest white Moth I have ever seen.

My point? Idiosyncrasies. Random parts of us that don't make sense to most other people, but often not even to the best friend in bed beside us.

I watch other couples roll their eyes at the one they love. And I am reminded of my own annoyances. 

My beloved hero is a wiz with finances. The protocol and designed planning in this mans head is epic. Truly. He has a gift. But the liability of it, can be over-thinking, over-crunching, and fear of the unplanned. He has made financial chicken scratching on envelopes, notebooks, receipts, napkins, and even the bottom of love notes. Lol. Now. As a new bride, 12 years back, I quickly became annoyed. It took me years to realize I was witnessing something art. One God had given him. And also something huge. 

Love. For me. 

All those chicken scratched papers scattered, were his passion to care for me. 

So now? You can find a paper, scribbled with numbers and figures, saved safe in my bible. 

Why? Because it's an idiosyncrasy that reflects pieces of my husbands heart. Where there is a pulse, there is blood flow. Pieces of life that tell a story about the very one we are tempted to mock. Because we have gone blind and named them ordinary.

It makes my heart hurt. In awareness of my own sin, and also when I see it in marriages around me.

What would happen if we threw our love blanket over the whole of them. Even the parts we grit are teeth at? What if that man who got uncomfortable at his wife's absolute happy, got a soft smile on his face...thinking in his heart, " that's my crazy beautiful bride. Man I love her." 

Redemption would happen! This amazing taking back of moments. Not allowing the enemy to use annoyance wedges to cause cracks that will widen over time. That woman seeing her hubby smile soft at her crazy? She would feel endeared to him. Drawn to him. She would feel full potential and free. Because this man who smiles at her spastic random, loved even this. Because He loves all of her. All these veins are glimpses of God design. 

Indiosyncrasies matter. They are tiny windows. Glances that show where we have been scarred and hurt, or hints of what makes us happy. Joy full and alive. 

They are threads that can be traced back to God art, sneaking out and up into the ordinary.

What if what annoys you most in your spouse is a piece of map?

 

Some things we do are random and quite possibly not deeply significant. But even stupid silly things can be a chance to love. And when we feel loved despite our "selves", we change. We start to flourish.  

When my man comes up and holds me from behind, and whispers in my ear, " you are so beautiful no matter what you wear."... it ties me to his heart in a way a " hurry up!", annoyed comment never would.

When he flips through my bible and comes across a "crunching numbers" scratch paper, we get to share a soft smile instead of an argument.

And when I gag as he cleans his ears, we giggle. Because even the smallest, odd things can become a memory.

I guess I just want to air a challenge. For the brave of heart. Those willing to challenge annoyance hooks, made by scoff habits...  Find your spouse despite the thing. Whatever it is. Does your love cover all? 

Would they say they feel the "all" of them is safe, with you?

I dare you. To find the beauty of who you married in the silly things. The annoying things. Even the hard things. Make it a hook to say you love them. With a wink, a giggle, a flirting comment. Watch what will happen.... Redemption. A taking back from the destroyer of souls.

Marriage is this beautiful, decadent secret. And we tell the world a story. With each response, tone of voice, look of face, and attitude of heart. Do you tell a story of drudgery and loss? Or of love, deep joy, and this incredible secret holy...

Our story is supposed to be Him. Jesus. To the soul of our lover, but also to the world.

I am a wife. And I want others to smile at the way I love my man. I want them to see Jesus somehow... See hope... And the beauty of marriage. May God help me.

Join me? 

Find the annoyance and challenge it. I dare you!

   

" Love bears all things, believes all things, and hopes all things...Love NEVER fails." 1 Corinthians 13

Impossible Hope

So I am knocking on your door this morning. It's chilly out and I only have a light coat on. Shivering, I knock again. You must answer! Because I have a plate of warm muffins. Freshly baked. And a Karaf of hot coffee.... 

Because we all need someone to wake us from our sleep... To wake us up with warm hope.

I have come because I have to tell you! I shiver outside your door, with the sun barely glimmering, because your soul needs this. 

It's about Him. The news I have is about Him!

He wants me to tell you this. It's time. It's time to know and believe! To rise up out of the bed of hiding and look Him in the face. To tell Him you need help with your unbelief. Say it. Because He watches over your whole heart, and He already sees the bleed.

He wants me to tell you. The impossible? It isn't.  The impossible before you now...Is. Not. Impossible. 

Wake up! The sun is rising..... Don't miss light breaking up the darkness....

He wants me to tell you.... He splits rock open for you. He squeezes water out of stone for your hope. 

" He opened the rock, and water flowed out. It ran in the dry places like a river." ~ psalm 105:41

Your dry places are cracking right? Your soul is parched so deeply it's splitting straight through. Blood just below thin surface. I just had to knock. I just had to wake you early... This. Will save. Your life.

Your hungry. But you can't find the courage to believe. That this can end. All this doubt and mocking questions. This hollow aloneness that is eating away at the core of you. The whole of you. It's the rock you face. This cold, hard, piece of mountain that has you dumbfounded. 

But He is hitting it. And before you know it...Water is going to run out of it as if it's hard surface were sponge. Friend! I had to wake you. Believe! You just have to believe!

I know you are starving for something to fill the hollow...The exhaustion from all these years. Hopelessness has found you and it's grip feels like darkness. And if people closest to you could know how you hurt, they might just take it all more seriously. They might actually hear your cry for help. But years of them missing it has you skeptic. But you have to call out. You have to.....

So call out to Him. Ask Him that question that haunts you. Ask Him the hard things. Because Your hunger may kill you if you don't feed it something epic.

" They ASKED, and He brought Quail, and satisfied them with the bread of heaven."~ psalm 105:40

See?! This is why.... I couldn't wait till later. I had to come. Muffins and coffee in hand, I had to knock urgent. Because there is this Someone who wants to save your life.

Someone who will rain bread down, from the sky, for your desperation. Manna for your ache. Your need. He will go all lengths to feed you. 

Natural laws don't stop God.

Final diagnosis's don't stop God. 

Too many years of " all this" don't stop God. 

What they said, doesn't stop your God. 

Your Jesus will never stop fighting for you. He will split rocks for your thirst, and rain down bread for your hunger. Oh friend. I just had to tell you!

Deserts happen. They are real. They are hot and they burn. But God has led His kids through the deserts for generations. And He goes all lengths to see they have light, protection, food, water, AND HOPE.

So you see. I just had to come and knock. I wanted to tell you that you have a place to go. That you can ask and it shall be given. That you can seek and you will find. Knock and it will be opened... Manna falls. Rocks pour out water. Jesus saves.

So trade in your companions of worry and endless ache. Lift that up. Open your hands, and ask Jesus to take it.  He can handle your real. Your ugly. Your secrets.

Friend? May I come in.... I have warm muffins and fresh coffee.  I just had to tell you....