Then my mini man. 10 years and brave. Brave when his little sis antagonizes him and hurts his feelings. Three year olds can hurt too... These hearts bigger than theirs. His love for her is strong. Protective. It's beautiful to witness. But he gets so tired of her hollering. So he fights back with curt tones. With attempts to control her. This gift in a small package. She whom he prayed for, can be hard to get along with. He manipulates and she screams... And flesh flares and plays till we all feel green.
I wake up and hear this season we are in. The season of a three year old testing a new found will. The ten year old expecting a little sister to act seven year old.
The dog, all puppy, nipping the heels happy amidst it all. Sometimes we all need a muzzle. Just like the puppy. We nip. We annoy. We choose to worsen in the season instead of pulling back to really see. To remember. People we live with are a gift.
These are gift.
My head spins with the noise. I don't know how to teach thru the mess most days. How to teach a three year old to love. To be kind. How to help the 10 year old forgive and remember answered prayers. How to get that black ball of fur to calm down! Where do I start to do right amidst it all needing my attention right now? This. As I homeschool and care for this house as home. What comes first in a tornado of competing importants?
I go. To sit in a different perspective. I love coffee shops. I love the smell. The warm cup of vacation. The barista's making it, who have become friends. I like watching people. Finding God in them and smiling to myself. Sitting quiet with the word as companion... In that one chair in the corner. It's there that I was sighing. Trying hard to pull out of feeling this scream coming. Mommy desperation creeping in fast..... He was there. He is always there. My friend. My home. How He calmed was simple. Oh how He loves through perspective jolts.
" Behold, children are a gift of The Lord..." ~ psalm 127:3
And that was it. Those words I have heard a million times. The sad part about it though, is the million ways I forget. I need to see again. Let scales fall and look at my babies again. The sparkle in those eyes. The way they discover life around them. The way they learn. This poetic way they are quick to love. Always this beautiful, blind love. The way a child forgives. Especially when I am the one seeking it. The way my son looks out for his mama. Always making sure I am ok. Making sure I know I am beautiful, loved, cared about. That he is always there for me. Him making me necklaces from old DVD player parts... Thoughtfulness toward mama even when exploring on his own. And my girl. Wanting me to just sit and hold her. A joy that won't always be. Her fitting in my lap, head against my heartbeat. Her giggles as she holds my face while sharing Eskimo kisses.
I am a mother truly blessed. Truly.
So that then. The remembering. These are gift. He is my gift. She is my gift. From my Abba and friend. God's perfect for me. His kindness to hold and witness all these crazy days.
So witness it. Mundane is only a curtain. Draw it back and see what is really I front of you. Gifts...if you will receive them. Always His endless displays of love. All these love droplets from an ocean of grace.
God can overflow in the drudgery. The mundane becoming the miracle.
So here I am. This mama. This wife. This friend. This woman. I don't know how to do many things amazingly. But there is one I am determined to have God work out in me full. Just one thing I wanna do well. Tasks, work goals, expectations aside.
I wanna love. I just wanna love well.
Because love matters. A lot.
So. From my noisy home to yours. Be blessed. There are worse things than slowing down and letting Him show you what's what. Mainly. The sadness your left with if you miss them.
His love just might upstage my noise.
And the soul mellows and the eyes see...
Beautiful!!!!
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