Where do we get beauty?

Women. Us with this hard thing. This constant wondering about our looks. Are we lovely? What do others see...

Were we ever in that stage? Can we turn a head? 

Tabloids. I hate them. They lie beauty to woman heart. Pages with them airbrushed, too close to nude. So much skin. Skin so smooth. No spider veins, no varicose. Legs and breasts firmer and perkier than than any true natural reality possible. Smiling faces and bikini laces...

So we walk thru narrow lanes to pay for bananas, and we buy " I am not enough". We drive wondering if our husbands noticed the magazine. Do they want me, like that? Hearts throbs soft. We know what's accurate. There isn't a "me" like that. So what about us?

Beauty. We crave it.

Let's be real. We want to be breath-taking. We want our husband to cast us smiles, because he can't help be caught up. We want to feel confident walking in stores or standing in line at Starbucks.

Let's be real. We ask stupid questions. In the aloneness of our own head. How does my bum look in these jeans? Then we look at her in front of us. Her with the REALLY cute pockets all blinged. Is my butt bigger?  Maybe if I found those jeans....  

 

We put ourselves down as we walk the catwalk of comparison. Or what's worse, we belittle other women we see in a meager attempt to make ourselves come out "on top."

Let's admit it. We watch ourselves in the mirror. We check if the thick in our belly is more than last week. We try on 10 outfits, cutting ourselves down as we rip off the ones we determine make us look unattractive. Am I hitting home with anyone?

We dress and makeup ourselves hoping to remain among the beautiful. 

My hubby hates when I ask him which outfit he prefers, to only walk out to leave, in a different one then he chose. Me. Choosing my selfish method of approval over trusting my husbands heart and eyes. " I am the only one you should be trying to please when you dress lover." He's right. After honoring God, as a married woman, its him I should desire to please. So if not him, what am I after?

Here's my vulnerable. I want to be seen as beautiful wherever I go. I fear someone thinking my bum is too big, my baby flap showing over my jeans, and my arms measuring too thick up top. I worry someone will wonder why I chose to wear that?!! I worry I will be the woman another woman puts down to make herself the better.

Ladies. We can't possibly be the impossible. We will never be beauty in the eye of every beholder. I ask you, what I very often need ask myself,

Whose eyes are beholding you truest?

 

Because vogue says I'm shabby. Fit magazine says I'm flabby. Parenting magazine would level me as a frumpy mom in need of a shopping spree! The ladies in public with the better jeans...yeah. They might just feel sorry for me. And the tabloids?! To them I am dimpled, pimpled, and full in all the wrong places. So if those eyes, and those standards are what has me bound...I'm in trouble. Because I have to face it...I cannot be an airbrushed empress of beauty. 

So what now. How do we meet this tiring battle and beat it daily? There is only one way I know. 

Love.

His.

God has me saying these words. And friend, whenever I do, I feel this amazing sense of coming home in my heart. 

"I am beautiful because I am His."

I am beautiful. 

Because. I. Am. His.

This incredible thing happens when we know real love, we become our fullest selves. There is no love like my Jesus'. And when I realize how much He loves me, notices me, values me...how truly personal He is WITH ME.... I begin to beautify under such gift. 

We "become" the more we know Him and His personal love for us in our daily life.

A woman who is confident, whose soul is calm, has a countenance that radiates loveliness. It's true.

We need to quiet our souls into His love. Let HIM tell us our value. Let HIM tell us what HE sees. It's only when we are confident where our love comes from, where our beauty originates, that we can be confident we already have what will never leave. Love.

Love always radiates beauty.

Lets talk proof. 

" ...so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; AND THAT YOU, BEING ROOTED AND GROUNDED IN LOVE, may be able to comprehend with all the saints ( with all your fellow sisters in Jesus. Hee hee!) what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to KNOW THE LOVE OF CHRIST which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the FULLNESS of God." ~ Ephesians 3:17-19

 

Do it again. Read it. Slow.

Whose love? His. This incredible pursuer of our affection.

What do we become? Grounded. Settled into it. Into HIS love.

What happens when we are grounded? We begin to comprehend! To comprehend how deep His love is, how wide His love is, how high His love is, how long His love lasts!  That my dear friend leads to security and divine confidence!

What happens? We become. Filled with the fullness of God. Filled with this fullness of Beauty Himself.

We "become" because He is beautiful.

Oh dear one. He is why you are beautiful. He is why vogue, blinged jeans, poised hair, and smooth thighs don't matter. He is why those goals are empty. 

Why pursue empty?

Here's a challenge. If you have a hard time seeing "how" He loves you personal, get a journal. Please. Begin writing down what you are thankful for. I promise you will begin to see how involved in your life He is, even when YOU don't notice. Track His grace and hear the love song.

Then this. All of us deal with this. When you are in public and your eyes fall on her. This poised, seemingly flawless woman... Talk to Jesus about her instead of to your flesh. Thank Jesus for her beauty, and pray she will come home to knowing His love personal.  This gets our eyes off comparing, self focus, and beauty that is fleeting.... It puts our minds on what's true. Directs our eyes to the training of His. And it protects her you are sizing up. Give that gift to her. How blessed we would be if another would do the same for us. Let's start giving hope instead of taking it away... Spreading the kind of  beauty that vogue can't touch.

Lastly, I wanna leave you with a prayer. For my heart, and for yours. 

" Arise, shine; for YOUR light has come, And the glory of The Lord has risen upon YOU. For behold, darkness will cover the earth, and deep darkness the peoples; BUT THE LORD WILL RISE UPON YOU, AND HIS GLORY WILL APPEAR UPON YOU. And the nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising." ~ Isaiah 60:1-3

Our time has come. His light is finding our faces. This world will continue to be dark, and the peoples lost in it. But The Lord is rising upon you...His love and glory will appear on you! You can show His beauty and be like light. Heavens light to a world of hurting women. Women chasing fullness from dark and empty places. Verse three says they can come because of your light! His love, grounded in you, shows in brightness as He raises you up! 

Your countenance tells a story.

You are beautiful because you are His. 

His. 

May we be blessed as we rise together. I can feel such light upon this face....

Tracking Goodness

Today. We have a choice. 

Everyday we do really. But we take it lightly. Which is sad to me. Me being the chief of the forgetful. 

What if we made it habit. Tracking sightings of our King?

Us the chasers. Chasers of grace. Not that we may obtain grace, but recording our seeing that we have already been given it. Over and over again. This goodness of God granted despite our forgetfulness. 

God shows Himself to us relentlessly. But we must train our eyes to be of the seeing. 

A lady bug, on strong man's hand... My eyes see. God taking the time to paint on her back, for us. Because couldn't she function without spots?  But He knew little children would smile. Would chase them, catch them, call them pet. So He details His kindness on the back of a bug.

Do you watch for Him? Do you look for sightings of your King?

It has amazed this heart, how loneliness leaves when I notice God. When I acknowledge Him here, and there, in all these moments. Because I have come to realize He notices me. Love always sets us free. Do you look for how He loves you?

I have been counting for a year and half now. I recently was pondering how thanksgiving has changed my life so much... How I wished I would have known the importance of gratitude to one's faith. But I saw Him here too... When I remembered how my Mama used to tell me to write down what I was thankful for, that it would help my fear go away. I sadly, didn't take it seriously, but even then God was awakening me to what He knew would set me free. Thank you Mama. You are wise.

Then I thought about my tattoo. (Not something I recommend for everyone, but rather something my husband and I prayed over for six plus months prior. I recommend any person do the same before getting one. ). What I felt led to put on skin.  I chose the words "Jordan Stones" in Hebrew. It's from Joshua 4, when God asks the Israelites to take up stones of rememberance... So they would remember He has been faithful. That was almost six years ago. He knew then too. That my freedom, that my love with Him would come when gratitude became my skin. 

He designs our detailed worlds according to His kind plans for us. Mama's urging children to write down what they are thankful for.... Tattoos that were once a symbol becoming a lifestyle...

Sightings of the King. Do you notice Him in your details?

Turning the face upward. Saying "thank you" when seeing Him.... It honors Him, and can literally be a key to daily salvation.

Salvation from loneliness, fear, despair, greed, shame...

Psalm 50:23

The thing I have loved beyond words, is that saying thank you to Jesus, in all the ways I see Him, has introduced me to Him again and again. This habit has made me to know Him and all His wonder. There is no greater gift. It's the secret to so much fullness. 

Remember Jesus, and discover how much He remembers you.

A woman I count friend, Ann Voskamp, said it so accurate, "Why is remembering and giving thanks the core of the Christ-faith? Because remembering with thanks is what causes us to trust- to really believe."

So it has been. With me. I hope it is so with you as well.

This verse in Exodus blessed me in my mellow this morning. It's really why I started blogging to you today. Please ponder it.

" And He said, " I Myself will make all my goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of The Lord before you; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and show compassion on whom I will show compassion." Exodus 33:19

So He does. In all our lives, day in and day out. Do we notice His goodness passing before us?

Want a game changer? Open your eyes and start counting. 

Exit loneliness.

Your loved. I promise.

Feast on Joy

It was a trip I had idea for for a long while. Not for my thrill, but for her joy. For her hope to rise. Sometimes we all need to remember we are always welcome to His care. And other times, we can become apart of that message for someone else. This too, such gift.

So we planned. Me and two other grace chasers. We asked God to have paychecks arrive on time, and ran giggling to house when they did. We asked for love sitters for all our babies...detail watchers while we were away. Person by person, He lined up grace. We smiled soft. Our awareness of God's help and joy in our plan rising. We needed hubby's schedules to be just so. Mouth gaping happy, we watched Him time details and surrounding circumstance perfectly. 

Winter. Her frigid chill and slippery tendencies... We worried a bit. Roads. Flying not option, it had to be the roads. A road that would lead to her. Joy package, in three women, praying themselves to front door step. God, with us watching weather well in advance, moving all this storm around like some sort of heavenly dance.  Like a calm tunnel thru, He cleared it!  We giving hoots of praise, our amazement of His aid clearly rising!

Rushes of worry. I was in the kitchen a mere 48 hours prior to trip, when I became annoyed with my battle with fear. Fear that something would take this trip away. That a glitch, sudden sick child, or detail  un-avoiding would hit us. My doubt? Yeah. A habit I hate. Because I have seen God do such amazing things. I have seen the strong hand, active in love, on my behalf. His grace so personal. Then it came. Those sweet words.

" it shall not be taken Elizabeth. Feast on the joy."

He has that way. With words.

I wish, in all our excitement, we woulda taken a picture of her surprised face! The look on a face when His love surprises. There is God here. She beamed! Because God showing up does that to us. We forget He is always there, and in His grace He comes...in surprise jolts sometimes. Like Him saying, 

"Hey Darlin, I am still here! My love never left you. You. Are welcome. To all my care. Always."

We were His daughters. In His house. Having this slumber party of sheer happy. We slept in His kindness. And laughed our way thru so much abundant grace.  Awe, continually gripping us, as we counted the details He had managed... And the things He continued to do while we were together. This God we love, savors our joy. 

He wants us to feast on it. Joy that He gives is nourishment, it's hope wings.

But we often get so stuck on worrying that it will leave if we taste it. That this guilt rush must mean we are wrong for feeling all this happy. 

That lie. Needs to die.

His joy. IS meant to feast upon. 

The enemy knows we will receive it as personal. As this incredible proof that God delights in His children. So he spins lies to keep us from it. Trying hard to make us think it's this joy that's the forbidden fruit.  satan wants us to think God's joy tasted is forbidden. Off limits. Unreal. Not lasting. Not for us. Not for me.

Stand up and shut him up! 

God always welcomes us to His care. 

You wanna know something else? Our picking that joy up...that care up.... Us risking pulling it in close and believing we matter to God.... This is holy offering to a watchful Father in heaven. A Father who delights in the joy of His children! He smiles at your risk to giggle. Truly.

So we did. All weekend long. We risked it. And we fed on all His giving. Over and over again.

Something divine happens in the heart that doesn't fear feeling His happy. It okay to relish joy given by God. Life is hard. And pain comes. But being a Christian isn't suffering.  We can suffer. But it's not who we are. Many believers expect to suffer...which we are told will happen...That we aren't to be surprised by it in this fallen world. But they take it a sad step further, and they make identity in it. They make a homestead in it. This has become a top grief in my heart. Because when we expect pain, we become ashamed when we taste joy. When we feel happy.  And so the enemy spins. Spins this horrible, backwards belief system. In our minds, God loses joy, and we walk the Christian life sludging thru mud...heart and foot heavy. 

God spins details abundant...to make you see you are loved... 

Believe this. He loves a smiling face turned up grateful. A smiling heart that says, " I noticed God! Thank you!"

Don't be afraid to be lost in the silly joy of Gods love. Be a goober. Laugh happy as you roll in His kind grace. Because it's a risk He sees as an offering. An offering He sees as you, noticing Him. And He smiles. Oh how He smiles at His daughters, lost in the risk of joy. 

" You will show me the path of life. In Your presence is FULLNESS OF JOY. At Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." ~ psalm 16:11

There it is. Biblical. Don't be ashamed of what He says is true. Joy is real. And you may have it. 

Gods kingdom isn't colorless. Life with Him isn't two dimensional. It's vibrant and full! He is all around you...waiting to be noticed by your smile. Open your eyes and walk away from the lies. Joy isn't forbidden fruit. 

Joy. Is a feast.

Smiles are such an offering. My soul glories in His true.

So we did. We smiled. A lot. We saw God and we laughed in it. And she we came to bless...was.  Because reminding others that God's love is for them? This is the workings of God. 

Be brave. Stop being afraid of happy. Let go of your fear, that joy, could be for you too. Taste and see that God is good! And please, pass that true on to that person who needs to know it too. That person you see often. Stranger or friend. His joy can be given. 

People matter. They matter so much to God. You give joy when you pass that on.

God sees YOU. And I am confident He laughs happy at your smile. 

Notice Him, noticing you. I promise, you'll never be the same. Joy!

" The joy of The Lord is my strength." ~ Nehemiah 8:10

" You, Lord, have made me glad thru Your work, I will triumph in the works of Your hands. Oh Lord, how great are Your works! And Your thoughts are very deep." ~ Psalm 92:4-5

When Hard Things Happen

Headlines. Most days I hate them. This glorifying the horror. The write up of the unkind, mean, dirty, and sometimes evil people. We write about all this ugly. Report out loud all this vile. So it spreads. Fear in most people, complacency in some, and evil ideas in others. Most days we should just keep our pens and mouths shut about all this ugly... And I wonder what would happen if we reported the kind, healing, heart lifting things at the exact speed and coverage we do the shattering... Young teens wouldn't have ideas given them so easily as avenues to blow all their hate and hurt in school hallways. Evil men wouldn't get as blatant encouragement to follow deranged thoughts into actions against the helpless little girl. We all need a Savior. We all are fallen.... We would mess up each other's lives even if media wasn't so foolish... But I believe the speed and widespread problems would be less. Way less.  Sometimes I sit and am just amazed at the foolishness of news anchors and lofty networks. It's sad. Really sad. 

Glorify sin, and you'll lose sight of light.

Man our news stations are dark.

It's not gonna stop. I am no fool. I won't campaign against the stupidity of news rooms. We will hear things that make our heart ill. That stop our breath and tempt us to fear. For those we hear about, for those we love, for ourselves. But we don't have to spread it.

When we hear about her. 10 years beautiful, taken and killed....  There comes this temptation. To question out of fear, out of anger. 

" Where", we ask, "was God? Why didn't He stop this?"

Our hearts sink at such evil. Against anyone, but especially a child. A little girl with life and laughter still fresh in her lungs...  Why horror? Why her?  Questions can haunt. Make sure you ask the right One. Because God won't ever leave you lost in darkness...even the kind birthed from suffocating questions that hang. He may not answer us probing like an angry reporter. But He answers in the utmost way. 

He answers with relationship.

We commonly ask why if God is so good... So kind... Why He allows horrible things to happen to the innocent.  This is in fact one of the most asked questions of the troubled soul.  I've been thinking about it. With heavy heart, I have found a piece I do know is true. And for me, it soothes. Maybe my ponder ramble moment will help you too. 

Just this. We chose sin a long time ago. Eve and Adam in breathtaking garden... They chose the hunger for knowledge as greater good than walking in friendship with God Himself in the cool of the day. Baffling.  But let's be honest. Don't we all make that same mistake daily? I baffle myself. 

 

In one bite of fruit, perfection was forfeited. Unbroken relationship and unbroken earth snapped. How God's heart must have broken loudest. His creation choosing the created and hunger for power over all the love they had been knowing. Intimately knowing with God Himself. 

What was left was just that. Brokenness. Earth flowers battle weeds. Women groan in childbirth. Men toil endlessly to provide before the irony of the earth undoes all their labor. Animals fight animals. Thorns pierce our skin and our heart. But most grievingly, the human race has a severed relationship with God. Praise be to The Lord, our relationship doesn't have to stay this way because of Jesus!! Thank you Yeshua!  But still the world is fallen, broken, horribly flawed. And so is the human race...Soul broken.

In these horrible news moments when we hear aweful reports of such evil things... What we are seeing isn't an absent God, it's a fallen world. Hear that! 

In the horrors of this life, it's not an absent God we see... It's a broken world. 

A broken world.

We forget that. We forget that God didn't make Eve bite an apple that shattered perfect beauty. She chose that. SHE chose it. WE chose it.  Now this earth, and people without God, bare the ramifications of saying "other" is better than Knowing God. This pain is the "other" we chose. This knowledge we wanted "to be like God" has become our depraved history. Has become our crime scenes. Our news stands of hopelessness and ugly.  And yet we still wanna blame Him. Because He can stop it right?  

What we are really wanting is heaven here. Our souls are craving what should be. This reality of relationship sweet and earth divine and beautiful.  But we let go of that... And it cannot be again this side of life.  When we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord, it will be again. When we go home to be with Jesus. But here? Here we must endure the fruit of the seeds we planted. We said God wasn't  enough, the world and human soul broke, and this is the reality of now. 

But! There is hope. God doesn't withhold Himself. He doesn't leave us to this hard place alone. The goodness of God is that when we break away, He doesn't. He still made a way for us to come back to wholeness. He sent Jesus (John 3:16). He asked His son to endure horror at the hands of fallen, depraved men, to restore us to Himself. To repair the break between God and mankind. He won't force us to come to Him..,To ask His son to save us... But He made a way to bridge the break.

And for those of us who have taken His outstretched arms to heart...there is hope in a world gone terribly wrong. 

And when the hard to swallow things come... When the horrid pain happens... We aren't left to suffer heartlessly. His love brings heaven into all this hard. This love that He promises covers a multitude of sins. This love He promises that nothing can sever. Nothing ( Romans 8:38-39).

When we hear headlines rant gore... When we ache for the childless mother...When we cry at Autistic hurt, and disabled challenges... When we cannot wrap our head around the why... Remember what is true. Really true beneath it all. God isn't broken, the world is. 

His love stays in it. He didn't run from the moments you can't stop imagining on behalf of a victim. He was with them. He was with you.  His hands are always outstretched...wanting to bridge that gap you feel.

It's not a question anymore for me of why He didn't stop "it".  I know this place is not my home. The earth is marred. Scarred and groaning. And though I hate it's effects on my body, and my family and friends lives... I know my Redeemer lives!  I know I am never alone. That horrid moments can become God moments in ways I won't ever understand. Because God is kind enough to stay in it, even when we broke it.

And for me, that relationship is everything. I don't smile on pain or it's wrenching effects... But I smile knowing I am not alone. 

That God is good, and I am always loved.

Today has hurt in it. I know. And I am sorry you ache friend. But know this. You don't have to bear up alone. He is near. 

Him. Always bridging the gap. 

You. Are Loved.

Please savor Savior here, in song "Mercy", by artist Phil Wickam:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h7ailmf2G7g&feature=kp

Running Shoes

I had lost my temper. So had littlest one. Throwing an expensive toy that was gift against her wall. Flesh isn't always taught...or caught. Sometimes it's just the kind born with. Source not mattering, all Savior needing. But it can shock a mama. When her toddler displays such outburst. And grieve when my own ugly follows suit in response. Three or thirty-three, she and I, Savior craving. Mornings like these, all this grasping for those new mercies. Are they playing hide and seek? 

 

I need shoes. Running shoes. Not for running away, but rather for staying. Staying in the hard and winning all the little battles. Running shoes to grip, and grapple, to traction my way into grace. So I go with tired bare feet. I reach for socks, I find shoes. Only God makes putting on running shoes a holy moment. I put them on. First the socks...soul breaths... Then the shoes. Soul reaches and grabs the chance to grip. 

Sometimes we just need to put on running shoes to stay. To stay and run this race set before us today.

After all. Jesus always has His on.

Endlessly chasing me with love and graces. Wanting me to know I am never alone. That in this race I have to run, He is pursuing and helping coach. Wiping my sweat, words encouraging, 

" you got this. I AM right here. Keep going. A little more... We've trained for this. I am right here."

Like music He sings courage into the runners heart. Into my heart. A song that calms. A song that revives courage and strengthens thighs and calves to pound out the truth of Him on asphalt of earth. 

To find God on earth road, put the shoes on. Let Him show His presence where grip meets earth. You will gain ground. Even if clouds are slow to part. He never makes us run alone. But we are in a race. And sitting and throwing mud clots doesn't bring the finishing tape's color any closer. It just wastes time. This valuable precious time. Moments of holy are what we are given. Only we can dirty them. So get up. Stop flinging and start stretching. This is what we train for. To grip and gain through everyday grime. Run through all this monotony and make art. That is grace.

There are a lot of days I slow cause all I see is the other runners around me. How they are faster, more agile. How many are ahead. And sometimes in admittance to my pride, how many I have passed by. Comparison puts lead in my shoes. Always has. It plugs up my ears from hearing my coach. This heaven song telling me how I am supposed to run, how I am supposed to pace myself. Because it's not about winning. It's about  the run along the way. The journey. Sometimes running well means letting others get ahead. Sometimes winning the moment means forgiving the one who just tripped us. Still others it's in stopping and helping the one who feels they can't go on. It's a Kingdom race. A race of paradoxical rules and realities. A race we only win when tuned in to our coaches voice. Telling us what pace we should keep and what route we should take.  Some are for the Everest hills. The huge and impressive feat winners... But for some like me, it's the call to Joy in the face of motherhood hardship and everyday mundane. Cause treading out His beauty here matters. 

Your race matters to God.

What He has called YOU to is of utmost value to Him. To His kingdom here.

He is there to whisper those words that give us courage to keep believing what's hard. To keep running when legs feel jello. In His kindness He knows we are but dust. ( Psalm 103:14)  And in His kindness He never leaves us to run alone. 

Don't look at the other runners. Don't look behind and see if your better than someone else. Why their route looks different than yours. Grander? Easier? More glorious? Perhaps harder... More "unfair"? Other peoples callings are not yours. Respect God and leave them be to Him. Know WHO loves you...let that inspire you to let loose in the shoes He chose for your feet. Then remember what His love means to you, how personal it is, and then give it away. To the ones running ahead. To the ones beside you. And to any behind. Because we aren't racing AGAINST one another. We are racing for a more beautiful reason. This invitation to know Him on this crazy terra ferma. 

Know Him well, and slipping turns to gripping. Gripping turns to gaining. And gaining turns to seeing more beautiful territory of His life and heart. 

There is. No greater. Reward.

Today if my ramblings find you tired...It's ok. Weariness is a stone I trip on regularly. Wondering if you have been given a road that's worthy? A route that has purpose and will honor Him well? You have friend. You have. Believe He is beauty here and " your weak" becomes a megaphone story of His strong. And the colors at the end? "Well done child. Well done."

" Help me, O Lord, my God; Save me according to Thy lovingkindness. AND LET THEM KNOW THAT THIS IS THY HAND; THOU, LORD, HAS DONE IT."

Thou. My sweet Jesus has done it.

May it be said of my race.

Take heart. You don't run alone.