Ever been between Dalhart, Tx and Tucumcari, NM? I have lived in Az a large chunk of my life. And now, for the past 9, in my Kansas. I have made this drive often. As in a lot. And each time I whine. I whine prior, during, and after. Snide comments like, " I know God made New Mexico, but wow. It's so boring." Brown. Flat. Tumbleweed pass.
It's Barren.
My whole life I have avoided that feeling. Because...Barren things ache. Void things hollow us raw. When we face what is empty, we face questions. Hard ones.
I left Dalhart, and took a deep breath. South on 54. " Here we go kids, no man's land." 90 minutes of open, flat, huge, ranch land. No crops, no people, no signs, and no potty.
They turned on Tom n' Jerry. Losing themselves far from boredom facts. Me? Music. I will ignore with fluid notes. It's funny. I didn't think God would talk to me Tucumcari style.
I was shocked. The sun was only 1 hour from setting. There was this glow. The glow of holy things. Of hallowed space.
The sky was beginning to be a warm grey with shades of most exquisite blue. Scattered clouds seemingly lined with heavens edges. I began to become very aware.
Heaven meets souls where earth touches sky.
I felt it. This holy hush. This heavenly correction. Almost an audible, " My barren has purpose Elizabeth. Beauty."
I drove with a slow flowering soul. Past perspective falling like old skin.
Barren places have endless possibilities.
We assume it is full of dead ends. Futility. Emptiness. The place hope goes to die. It's what the enemy of souls wants us to believe. And we do. Hook. Line. And sinker.
But what if we are wrong?
What if we are avoiding the cure? Barren places are void perhaps, but they do have one thing. Always this One.
Him. Waiting. Right in the center of the empty madness. I heard it. Like this song... Through open sky and broad land kissing.
"Promises.... Endless promises....will you linger?"
Like hidden treasures found only by those who dare face the hollow ache. Of the empty womb. The empty marriage. The empty purposeless life.
What if our richest with Him, is birthed in the virgin womb? The one that was not given seed. The one that couldn't possibly carry. The one that hadn't known intimate things. What if life comes when we hold on to the empty places. Squeezing determined, wrestling hard, till we receive the blessing. Pushing into the scary space for answers.
What if the road out, is the road into the barren land?
I began to smile.
"Jesus. Jesus... It's. It's absolutely breathtaking. How could I have called this place God forsaken? How could I have thought You were not here? Forgive me Lord."
It's like He walks there, waiting in gentleman form. For me. For you. What treasures of darkness, what secrets of hidden places would we taste if we woke up and said it (Isaiah 45:3)..."Surely God was in this place and I did not know it." If we, like Jacob, hang on. Determined to wrestle through.
Because God...is always worth a wrenched hip. A limp. The barren full.
Friend. Sometimes. He hedges up your way. Your womb. Your world...to get you to see. What if He slows You, empties you, to give you your greatest crave? A full life.
But we cannot have that without Him. It just isn't possible. Impotent loves don't create life either. We can lay with our idols, but we won't fill. We won't birth joy.
Even babies start in the empty pitch places. This life coming from this empty, suffocating darkness. Seeds have to trust dirt laid heavy and dark atop them... Creating in them this determined reach for sun. One day they break through. Barren becoming full tulip and happy sun. But they have to lay all their toil to rest in the trapped place. The empty place. The barren dark place.
Like promises.
It didn't stop. My whole way through Texas, New Mexico, and parts of Arizona... I have these seeing eyes! These repentant eyes.
Because I can testify. I have had to face the barren things. I have had the Lord take my babies before they are fully formed. I have had my womb emptied and kept in seven year hollow. I have known the fist shaking anger at heavens air. The hopeless lag of the seemingly empty slow. I have waited for love's healing to scale marital walls around hollow, hurting places. I have walked the road of hard daughter things. But I can promise you this, tell you this...
My emptiness isn't empty anymore.
I have seen Him speak to me soft and change my hard impossibles. I have watched Him take my surrender and fill my belly with a daughter. I am tasting the indescribable of the overcoming love with my 12 year man. And I am free from the hurting daughter heart.
Because Jesus values the hollow hard.
He talks through it. Shapes with it. Wins wars because of it!
It felt near sundown, like I didn't want it to end. The way the sun hit pale golden grasses of winter, with such iridescence! There were these bubble like clouds, scattered everywhere. The sky was such a bright hopeful blue. And when the two met somewhere in His middle...the stage was set. This is the land where stories are told! Where lies unravel and hope begins. The place of long walks and intimate talks. The space for the holy divine. In you. In me.
We just want the cruise control. To stop and pee and get the heck out of Dodge...for some of us Tucumcari. Lol. But what are we blowing past? What gifts are we missing because we have the audacity to judge God space.
I don't think I will ever do this drive the same again. I wish you could hear, indeed know the story He told me. It was the most peace full barren drive I have ever taken. It was truly beautiful! And I felt, when nearing trips end, that I perhaps just had a 16 hour holy encounter. With God Himself.
Discussing really important things.
Unwinding soul things.
Can you imagine...
Never be ashamed of what Jesus Christ can redeem.
So. Turn around. Look deep into the endless expanse of open land. Say yes.
There is a song.
Can you hear Him...
Tell me your story. Let me share in your full space.... The new barren.
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