I have to ask you to leave now. I know I invited you in here, one by one. I know I have spent hours contemplating with you. Discussing decisions with you. Crying because of you. But this party has to be over. The decorations of "too much" and "hopeless future" must come down.
See I have only one mind. I have only one soul. Only one passion to live. And I don't want it to be tangled in you any longer. You with your voice dressed as my own. With your words cloaked in twisted truths. You, posing wise through problem contemplations, and well thought out action.
I am letting you go.
You can no longer pose as what will get me acceptance. You are no longer welcome as my means to heal. You. Cannot. Save me.
I am amazed to see you clearly now. Posing as emotion. Wisdom. Discretion. And even Spiritual thought. I never would have let you in had I seen how you multiply trouble.
You see, dearest Crowd in my head... I belong to Someone else. He is a King. I have belonged to Him all along. It's just I forgot my soul only has one throne. And Crowded head? It doesn't belong to you.
My mind is His.
And each "you" I let in through little thoughts and small control attempts has begun to crowd my view. This simple view of what is true. Him.
Crowd? He came and knocked again last week. On my worn, hopeless heart. On my tired, tangled soul. On my too full mind. I am sure you heard His knock. It silences all else, and reverberates long. His very voice can strip forests bare. He knocked to strip you.
He knocked to free me. Again.
I answered Him. And as I poured my weary burden out upon Him, He accepted my heavy with the kindest eyes. With mercy's hands.
Crowd, if your so helpful to my mind, why do you deplete me? But He fills me? I weighed you against Him... And you may look more real by emotion and trial realities...but you weigh too much. You require too much soul space. Too much minds eye. You are too much earth.
I asked you dozens of times to give me more room. More space. I need air! But you never cared. Your true colors to rob me, coming out more and more. I can't seem to fight you off. You have so many "good points" and all encompassing emotions posing.
But Jesus still Saves His own.
He told me what defeats you. What changes everything. What gives Him back what is His. Simple, clear, words of power.
"Jesus. I surrender."
"Jesus I need You. More than answers to my agonies. More than perfection, affection, and acceptance. More than a road map to foretell. Or an expectation fulfilled.
I. Choose. You.
You are King of this soul. Guidance to this mind. And Lover to this heart. You are the answer to my "when", and to my "how".
I can do nothing apart from You.
You are my LOVE coming and never leaving.
You are my HOPE above all predictions.
You are my SONG above all noise.
You are my COUNSEL.
You are my WAY through.
You are my TRUTH holding steady.
You are the only way to LIFE.
Welcome. Because with You... I am whole."
" Therefore, behold I will hedge up her way with thorns, And I will build a wall against her so that she cannot find her paths. And she will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them; And she will seek them, but she will not find them. Then she will say, I will go back to my first husband, For it was better for me then now!" ~Hosea 2:6-7
"Thank you Jesus. "
What lovers do we pursue for hope, acceptance, worth, and knowledge over God? Money... Friendships...Church activities... Fitness... Romance...Health...an Agenda?
Without Jesus on our heart throne, they crowd. They become toxic.
Jesus hedged up my way to bring me back home. To give me the gift of CPR...Christs Power Ruling. And while that may sound corny... It's incredible! Restored air...Life! And I know, I will need CPR again and again until I am finally at home in heaven. This jolting reminder that I need Him. But He is just that kind. Always this calling, to let us return.
He is God. We are not.
Oh friends, may I ask... Whose ruling you?
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