Maybe being a homemaker is this rhythm. Maybe it is this messy. This muddled mass of moments. Silly ones and exhausted ones. Moments, when as a mom, I am so aware I am not enough.
When I am on the phone and doors are slamming amidst high pitched screams...
When I am cooking and three year old beauty is far too quiet. Messes. Her. Going potty in the trash can and then getting that little bum stuck! Oh and is the soup scorching? Heart can't help but laugh all delight watching her try get out...only to moments later be crying over the soup. Cause I can't do it all.
But I have to keep going. For them. For Him.
Potties stuffed with full packs of wet wipes. Dog hair endlessly all over the floor. Sticky counters and laundry mountains. Phone calls and mocking cluttered closets. This? Maybe.
Maybe this is what it is. Maybe if we let go of what we think we are supposed to be.... Just maybe we can grip thru the grime and find grace. Grace that keeps going when we just can't. Because no mom is perfect. Because clean closets can still mean a dirty soul.
Grace strong enough to help us see the sweet things. The boy who drops salsa but fixes problem on his own. The little man who knows his Mom's fetish with broken seals on food...
I wish desperately I would take all those slow down and remember moments. The ones that remind my heart why I love being a mama. Why I am blessed to be his wife.
That their sticky hands leave such precious small handprints that soon enough will grow and be gone.
That those giggles you hear coming down the hall is the bubbling brook of heaven.
These dirty dishes mean God did it again. Another day your babies sleep with full bellies and smiling hearts.
Remember how it feels to be the one in his arms each night. To be the one he thinks about at work, and comes home to each night. Remember you know how to make him smile just so. And how to pray because your the only one who really sees his battles.
I know sometimes it feels like we are the haggard giver. The endlessly unseen striver. I too, mark my food to protect moments of hideaway 1 minute vacations. As if dark chocolate in a closet and dried mangos in the laundry room can rejuvenate the soul. I know what it is to reach to rest. To cry alone in effort to get back up again.
I just kept thinking today that maybe all this we feel is abnormal and ugly...is upside down beauty and grace. Maybe our messy rhythm days are normal. And in fact ripe for God to show that HE can.
Because as moms, lets face it. We can't raise these babies right, not without divine intervention! But that's just what he wants to do. To show you He never intended that you and your dark chocolate closet getaways could raise these crazy kiddos on your own. That maybe we are meant to feel worn right thru so He can be seen as people look right thru us. Maybe worn out jeans and a hole in the heart become windows. To anyone passing by that needed a glimpse of God. From someone who was comfortable enough to say, " I can't do this."
When we thin out tired, miracles can happen. When we rub down to mere strands light can come thru. Maybe being the stay at home wife and mom is Chiffon grace. For God and all this glory. Just maybe.
Maybe if we risk rubbing raw we will rest in not having it all together. With our houses. Our babies. Our health. Our social life. Our marriages. Our hopes and our helps. Because us not having what it takes makes us perfect. Perfect for God to show His muscles. For testimony that's raw, real, and genuine to fly out of our homes.
Because God can raise our babies to love Him. To love the least of these.
Because God can heal our marriages in areas that feel hopeless.
Because God can calm the restless baby, and change the heart of the angry mom.
Because God can make piles of laundry, mountains of thanksgiving.
Because God can make a dirty, cluttered, messy house...a safe place for souls in need. In need of love. Hope. Or a cup of coffee. In need of people who will leave the task and choose the person.
Because God sees beauty in the tired tears of a mother's heart. Poetry in the prayers of the beseeching wife.
What He can do with the raw of heart.
Our messy moments. Our clogged toilets, and crusty pots... Lost shoes and musty closets... These can be windows of grace. Opportunities to know Him true. Witness Him in the messy homemaker life. Make that your goal instead of the cleanest house and poised children. Because there is no greater happiness, or joy, than seeing glimpses of God.
"He who has received His witness has set his seal to this, that God is true." ~ John 3:33
Live in the messy and tell your kids that story. Love when it hurts and sing that song to your husbands heart.
God. Is. True.
I reach to organize because I want to feel in control. But really, I just crave peace.
When we see glimpses of holiness, we can't help soul's change. He moves us. All this mess can become this magnificent ballet of hope. This story that tells others it isn't perfect people that make good kids, it's a loving God. It's real people living raw. This thin Chiffon grace.
So let them see. I cannot raise my babies on my own. I rely on my God and all His crazy grace. I cannot respect my beloved man in the way he craves without God and his sweet revealing to my frail female heart. I will not have a perfect house and an immaculate microwave...but i hope my home is a safe place for many. I am thin. Raw. Tired, but true. I am in need...and I delight in His answer.
" For, behold, I am for you, and I will turn to you, and you shall be cultivated and sown." ~ Ezekial 36:9
Dirt can be beautiful when it receives the seeds.
So smile at the dirt you see all over your house this week. Your home is garden. Your heart is garden. Dirt is grace for the growing.
You are loved tired Mamas'. And always noticed. Be blessed, the Cultivator is near.
Aww soo very true!!! And when we look back at the life we gave our kids.......they will NOT remember that mom had a clean house........they will say remember when we all when pheasant hunting and mom shot the 12 gauge and it knocked her on her bum........ or remember when mom locked the cat outside and it didn't come back for 3 weeks........or remember when we went camping and we got to fish everyday for a week!!........THAT is what the kids will remember.....NOT how organized or how tired us momma's were or how clean the house was!!! THIS is God's grace to us momma's with adult children!!! WE look back and think ohhh WHY didn't I have a cleaner house....I could have done better.........NOOOO GOD was doing His work the WHOLE TIME......DIRT is GRACE for GROWING!!! Thanks for sharing friend!!!
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