Upheld and Home.

I am not a poet. I am just a raw writer. A silly woman wording out the mattering things. And this... This is for my babies waiting at Heavenly home. But mostly for that Ozark Mama, tucked away in mountain pass. The one with the bleeding heart, and the aching emptied womb. 

Sweet you... Silence the why.  Hear His song. Your baby is safe and He will hold them long. I love you. 

And to all you Mothers who have known this hurt... Know this. 

We didn't  "Miscarry". 

Nothing that lands in Jesus hands can be. We Upheld our babies. Upheld them to The Arms that hold promise. A promise we will heal and hold once again. 

    Bless you.  Each one.  He. Sees. You. 

        ~ To Each of My Little Three~

"My sweet little wanted One. One day Mama will come. And I will get to see your sweet face. You went home so soon. Before I could see your so soft skin. Before I could count your tiny fingers and chubby toes. Or trace your "so your daddy" face.

Do you have curls like daddy, eyes green and full of light? Or maybe you look more like your Mama.... With my silly squishy nose,  or wide with wonder heart.

Oh baby of mine. How I wish to hold you. And if I could for just a moment...before you would go home...what that I could sing into your tiny ear.  A song of love that would become river. An eternal brook. This sound of your Mama coming. I will always be coming...

Jesus holds you sweet baby. And that love of His? Its Mommy's home. In a way...Being with Him is being near me. So let Him rock you and sing you my wishing lullabies. Let Him play with your curls... or locks so straight... Telling you such stories! The stories of all His greats. Of how He made the flower, the water drop, and wings...  Orange skies, and Daisy petal...The sound of the Forrest, or the vast of His sea! And just maybe He will tell you about Mama too. The way my arms feel, the beating rhthym of my heart. Perhaps the Silliness about me...my bursting into goofy or my joy in naming the nameless things. How I would hold you and smell you at night... Singing you songs about His love, then tucking you in tight. Maybe He would tell you about the nicknames I love to make, and let you know the sound of your own. I hope He tells you how Mama loves... I hope He lets you know the rhthym of me. How Mama aches to say your  name. How even your short moments in my womb were this indescribable joy and promise. Like hopes warmth. How I loved to hold my belly before your tiny began to grow.  And how hard it was to let you go, before I got to kiss your nose. Does He tell you your brother and sister know your name? Or how your daddy and I always long for that day...

See heavens gates will open wide.... Bluebirds echoing my singing sigh.... The moment when I will run to you....and say " hi sweet baby, let Mama take a look at you!" I will brush soft your face and study your eyes...kiss those little palms and then throw you up high.... Hold you close and hum that song. The one maybe you have known all along? 

So cuddle in close to your Savior and Friend. And maybe, just maybe you'll know me in part. Because Jesus holds you and a piece of my heart."